Browsing: Stephen Colbert

Government Doesn't Suck event piggybacks on Stewart-Colbert rally

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Are you a fed tired of the knee-jerk government bashing that’s so in vogue these days? The social networking site GovLoop thinks its time for all of you to stand up and yell at the top of your lungs, “I don’t suck!” Yes, GovLoop is holding a “Government Doesn’t Suck” rally tomorrow, alongside Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s Rally to Restore Sanity/March to Keep Fear Alive event. Go to the south end of the Air and Space Museum and look for the people with green shirts with “Chicks Dig Govies” sign.  (Apparently that’s an official GovLoop rally slogan. And I…

Colbert testimony turns surreal (but was that ever in doubt?)

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Stephen Colbert’s appearance before a House committee hearing on migrant workers got off to a weird start this morning. Right off the bat, Rep. John Conyers, D-Mich., tried to kick Colbert out of the hearing, but Chairwoman Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif., insisted he stay. His opening statement featured the same absurd leaps in logic and clever wordplay he employs night after night on his show, and had some very funny lines. (For example: “My great-grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of Atlantic ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in…

Colbert to testify before Congress. WTF?

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Faux newsman and comedian Stephen Colbert will appear before a House Judiciary Committee hearing tomorrow on illegal immigrants and farm labor. The details are kind of sketchy, but there are some reports that Colbert will testify in his on-screen character of a blustery conservative pundit. Now, I am a card-carrying member of the Colbert Nation, but this is a bad idea all around. And it shows just how broken Congress is, and how far the quality of hearings has fallen. I’ve covered Washington since 2002, and they seem to get worse and worse each year. It’s an open secret in…

Friday Fun part II: Keep fear alive!

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Late-night comedy hosts/faux newsmen Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert last evening unveiled their plans to hold a “Rally to Restore Sanity/March to Keep Fear Alive.” The event, to be held Oct. 30 on the National Mall, is partly a parody of the “Restoring Honor” rally Glenn Beck held in August. But Stewart is only half-joking when he calls for a million-moderate march to find solutions to the problems our nation faces, without demonizing those who may disagree with us. Or in his words, “take it down a notch for America.” As his announcement made clear, shrill hysteria has become a…

Friday fun links: The ultimate security test, terrorist monkeys, and Stuart Smalley

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The Onion “reports” that Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano has come up with the ultimate way to test our national security vulnerabilities: Releasing the five most dangerous prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, into the United States to see whether we can catch them before they strike. “If the Empire State Building or Jefferson Memorial blows up, for example, then we’ll know we have to make some improvements,” she added. “It’s all part of the process.” […] DHS also confirmed that the terrorists, who vowed nothing would stop them from their ultimate goal of destroying all of America,…

Shirley Sherrod responsible for global warming too?

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The Daily Show returned from vacation last night and weighed in on the Shirley Sherrod foofaraw. Jon Stewart, as always, gave the whole absurd episode the gravitas it required by editing the video of her speech to make it look like she was admitting to ruining the environment (the gold-plated Air Force One and alpaca fighting ring were also particularly nice touches). Stephen Colbert then took it one step further by splicing Mel Gibson’s latest racist and very NSFW rant into a quote from White House press secretary Robert Gibbs. But why should Stewart, Colbert and Andrew Breitbart have all…

Bears vs. Osama: Fight!

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The White House was on to something last year when it asked federal employees for their ideas on improving the government, but sometimes opening the floor to suggestions can backfire. Stars and Stripes has a fun story today about some of the wackier ideas the public has submitted online to the Defense Department. The most awesome proposal is to airdrop a platoon of GPS-equipped bears — which have a better sense of smell than even bloodhounds — into Afghanistan to hunt down Osama bin Laden. This helpful person (possibly Stephen Colbert) really thought through the logistics involved in such an operation, and…

COLBERT treadmill arrives at space station

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What may be the most expensive consolation prize in NASA history will soon be aboard the International Space Station. A $5 million treadmill named for political satirist and faux TV pundit Stephen Colbert will be one of the first items unloaded this afternoon from a cargo container docked at the station, according to the Associated Press. The Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill, now as elevated as its namesake’s ego, will soon be used by astronauts to stay healthy and strengthen their muscles in the zero-G environment. Earlier this year, NASA started an online poll allowing Web site visitors…