Bears vs. Osama: Fight!

Osama, look out! He's right behind you!

Osama, look out! He's right behind you!

The White House was on to something last year when it asked federal employees for their ideas on improving the government, but sometimes opening the floor to suggestions can backfire. Stars and Stripes has a fun story today about some of the wackier ideas the public has submitted online to the Defense Department.

The most awesome proposal is to airdrop a platoon of GPS-equipped bears — which have a better sense of smell than even bloodhounds — into Afghanistan to hunt down Osama bin Laden. This helpful person (possibly Stephen Colbert) really thought through the logistics involved in such an operation, and advised the Pentagon to “attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct.”

Another proposal is for a Noah’s Ark-like biosphere (complete with Biblical cubit measurements!) to preserve humanity after a devastating war. But it sounds suspiciously similar to Dr. Strangelove’s plan to shelter top government officials and nubile women in a nuclear war-proof mine shaft. And one student made a broad request for “top scret [sic]information” for his economics class. (Sounds like one of my FOIA requests.)

There’s also a healthy dose of 9/11 conspiracy mongering, including this gem:

Has anyone at the Department [of]Defense noticed that the Twin Towers were destroyed on 9/11, and that when you dial emergency services in the USA you dial 911? If so, is this merely a coincidence?

. . . whoa.  You just blew my mind.


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