You remember the Minerals Management Service, right? The agency that completely failed to properly oversee oil rig operations? Employees literally in bed with oil company representatives, jacked up on crystal meth while on the job? Fell on its sword after BP’s Deepwater rig exploded and sank, causing a still-ongoing environmental catastrophe? Now you can own a piece of it.
The watchdog group Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility this morning announced they’re auctioning off a wide assortment of tchotchkes from MMS. And we’ve got to hand it to them: their snark is top-notch.
PEER has 16 items for auction, starting at anywhere from $50 to $125. They’ve got a nice pen set, handy Interior Department ethics guide (mint condition and never opened, perhaps?), lanyard, and an oh-so-cute plush whale, among other items. But it’s the descriptions — the official MMS pedometer is labeled “Walking away from your responsibility can really be the path to better health!” — that are truly golden.
Do I hear ten? Tentententen twentytwentytwenty thirtythirtythirty SOLD AMERICAN!