Omaha police on May 2 cited a Census specialist for a “failed attempt at public limbo,” which may be the five saddest words I’ve ever read. News station KETV reports that 26-year-old Elliott Bottorf was taking a stroll when he saw a parking gate arm. So he did what comes naturally: try to limbo under it.
Unfortunately, Bottorf’s balance wasn’t quite up to snuff and he couldn’t make it. As he fell, he grabbed the $397 arm and it snapped off. He was technically cited for criminal mischief, and not for crimes against the future Olympic sport of limbo.
We kid because we love. At least Bottorf wasn’t like some other Census workers who have been accused of assaulting a police officer, or lying to hide being a sex offender, or drug possession. Mr. Bottorf, for brightening up our Thursday, you earn a coveted Sad Trombone: