The Smoking Gun reports that FEMA pulled a children’s coloring book from its Web site earlier this week after it drew criticism for including images of the World Trade Center attacks. The coloring book, “A Scary Thing Happened,” was intended to teach children about disasters and the emotional turmoil they cause. But some felt that showing the smoldering Twin Towers might be going too far.
“Oh gosh, that was on the front of a coloring book?” Kim Pressley-Herrick, founder of Coloring Away Pain, told Fox News. Pressley-Herrick’s company produces coloring books intended to help children deal with traumatic events. “As a parent, I don’t think children need to see that. There are ways of delivering messages to children on their level without being graphic.”
But with some of these drawings, you have to read between the lines to find out what FEMA’s really trying to warn you about. Hidden subtext after the jump:
Take this picture, for example:
FEMA’s clearly trying to tell us that the zombie menace is going to be the next major threat we face. Look at this “girl’s” cold, dead eyes. And the fact that she’s trying to eat whole fruit with a spoon. Those are the signs of an undead ghoul trying to hide that she hungers only for human brains.
And here we see the threat of fly-by-night contractors — who often swoop into disaster zones with dubious credentials and fail to provide promised goods and services to desperate victims — clearly illustrated. This guy gets bonus points for being some kind of post-apocalyptic radioactive mutant who thinks he’s Lucy Van Pelt.
There are other coloring books remaining on the FEMA Kids Web site, like Urwin and Wufi’s Adventures With Wildfire and this one from Racine County, Wisc. But kids…if a seven-foot dog-man monster blocks the door and says “Where do you think you two are going,” you run. Seriously, GET OUT. Find a window, find a back door, anything. No good can come of this.
Of course, the coloring books still pale in comparison to the infamous “FEMA Rap” — the single greatest hip hop track of all time. Better than Grandmaster Flash. Better than Public Enemy. Better than The Roots. Click here for the Real Audio track and the lyrics are here.